So if you want to get super technical, here is the definition of Gastroparesis thanks to the Cleveland Clinic, “Gastroparesis is a disease in which the stomach cannot empty itself of food in a normal fashion. Symptoms include heartburn, nausea, vomiting, and feeling full quickly when eating.” That is like a short and to the point explanation.
If you want my definition, my stomach no longer works without medication, and it f*king sucks and is something I manage daily not just like go to a Doctor and figure it out and I’m good for life. It’s a constant struggle to stick to a routine and even when one works it can come to end.
I was diagnosed in 2017, but I feel like it may have been something I have been suffering with for far longer than that. It was because I had moved home to live with my mom after my Undergrad that she saw me struggling all of the time and insisted I get some help. So after 5 or 6 huge, expensive tests, and thousands of dollars later, the answer was found. My stomach couldn’t digest food at the rate it is supposed to, I want to say I had like 80% still left in my stomach after 4 hours of laying in this big machine and eating these radioactive egg whites and it was supposed to be less than 20%. Not totally sure about the accuracy of those percentages but it was something similar to that.
Anyways, I have the idiopathic version, so no sure cause or reason why I have this. I will go through phases where I feel like that I’m doing good, no stomach pain, regular bathroom visits, and then just out of nowhere all of the things that usually don’t bother my stomach or things that usually work well for me won’t, and this is called a flare-up.
Too much stress, flare-up.
More anxiety than usual, flare-up.
That time of the month, flare-up.
Decided to enjoy a few too many alcoholic beverages, flare-up.
Couldn’t stop my craving for fried food or other fatty foods, flare-up.
Just wanted to enjoy a nice family meal without being that pain in the ass person who needs their own menu, flare-up.
Sometimes for just no reason, flare-up.
(Yeah, I know a few of the above are my own fault for indulging)
It’s great. Like I said earlier, I can find routines and products that will help and make me feel better but they always only work for so long until I go into a flare-up then I struggle to get back on track. Sometimes the flares don’t last long, sometimes it’s weeks of not being able to keep any food down, being nauseous all of the time, bloated with stomach pain, and being so fatigued with no appetite. Not to mention the acid reflux, which is daily, no matter what, flare or not. When it’s bad, it’s a struggle to get out of bed. I force myself to be a productive human being and I know that I can be not so pleasant of a person to some people on those days, but I’m truly doing my best and would much rather be lying in the fetal position in bed if I could, but I don’t have unlimited sick days. I usually lay in bed and decide what outfit I can wear that will not be tight or uncomfortable while I try not to puke all over the place. Then I do as little as possible to get ready to go to work. It’s not the best process, but at least I’m still a functioning human, right?!
Now, I feel like I may sound dramatic, but it feels like having worse than the stomach flu all of the time. Even though it sucks, I always try to remain grateful for my state and condition. Others have it worse and end up with feeding tubes and hospitalized often. I try to work to find ways to be healthy but live a life where I can indulge in good food on special occasions. I don’t want to be sicker than I am, but I know that this is a battle that I will fight forever and I need to accept that.
I spent a lot of time frustrated and annoyed by my diagnosis. Hell, I still get annoyed by it, I wish I could get a new stomach some days. I fight to have an appetite like 90% of the time and mostly force food or forget to eat. So, I know these are unhealthy habits, and I have a stash of meal replacement drinks and easily digestible snacks nearby at all times so that way I’m not completely starving myself.
Well, that wasn’t everything, but I felt I could spare the gross bathroom details that I manage daily. It’s tough, I still get frustrated by it, I hate explaining it to everyone, just to re-explain it to them in a few weeks when they forgot and now it’s awkward because we are trying to have a meal together. I’m managing it the best I can.
In the meantime, to those who read my blog posts and know me, I hope this was educational and you learned some more about me and have a better understanding. If you are a fellow GP’er, I’m with you! If you just stumbled upon it and now you’re like WTF, well I’m sorry, you wasted your time reading my stomach story, but this was only the tip of the iceberg.
-Ashley
wondering what’s next. 
You are correct that you will be labeled a “drug seeker” if you go to the ED, My GI doc would say if the pain is that bad then go to the emergency room. I have been an RN for 32 years and know quite well the reaction these people get . People who have 10% or > radioactive particles remaining at 4 hours qualify for this diagnosis. The level of severity had little to do with the 84% of all with GP have abd pain and nausea. The fall back etiology of GP is “idiopathic” , meaning they don’t know why. We are all stuck between a rock and a hard spot. We can agree to take drugs like Reglan if you are willing to possibly develop Tardive Dyskinesia – Irreversible damage causing uncontrollable body movement. I don’t consider that to be worth it. I am miserable enough, thank you! I use a layered approach since no one can seem to help. I do guided meditation usually found on You Tube, also the tapping solution app which is an acupressure technique and light yoga. It is very difficult to stay sufficiently hydrated. Love the cartoon it sums it up.
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